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took passport size photo after morning tutoring......
no school today! *smirk. Hence gona replace the ti...
first day of school~! great to see some familiar f...
new background song- Know Nothing by Travis.. kind...
Slept at 3am last night... partly was engrossed ta...
Today's the last day of April...incase ya peps did...
had 3 tutoring sessions. Went to check out Park ma...
bought a pastel orange pullover for school! *smile...
slept around 3am last night.. coz was chatting ove...
had morning tutoring and chilled out alittle tv bu...


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The Voice Within - Christina Aguilera
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Friday, May 06, 2005

( @ 9:50 PM )

am feeling even MORE discouraged today. am a LOSER! Cant believe wot i saw... all things happened for a reason... i guess no matter how hard i tried i will still be discouraged at this point of time... i felt like i've disappointed many many people.. conscience is haunting me.... That includes my beloved parents.. the closest people on Earth that i can't bear to lose. Without them, im will be like a plant without roots... no way i could continue to live... (apologies to those readers who are pondering wot's wrong with me)

but strangely the joyful spirit within me is fighting back, ... telling me to trade my sorrows to the joy of the Lord.. AMen? yes! Amen! There are many questions in my mind about life which i cant seems to find a answer for.. But God spoke ".... In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it..." John 1: 4-5

yesterday, as i was crossing the bridge... and happened to walk pass a middle age monk. He approached me and gave me a 'protection card' (as he claims) with the picture of Budda. i rejected it and he kept shoving it, which i accepted , (in my mind) i was thinking after he has walked away...... i could throw it away in the nearest bin.. i felt i've betrayed Abba Father.. but who knows the monk did not walk away but gave me another yellow beads bracelets... i was stunned. *gasp

Deep in my heart i've totally felt disappointed in myself for holding those 'stuffs' but there was a twist at the ending.. the monk took out a thin photo album and showed me asking to donate money for the poor.. by doing good deed, you'll have protection and so forth... This time round, the feeling of gulity, like a knife stabbed in my heart... i spoke out ' i dont believe in all these, i believe in Jesus Christ ' (no matter how much good deed a person can be... and he still sinful.. and without accepting Jesus Christ as saviour... the ultimate end is still the lake of fire)

Gosh! the monk has an instant change of attitude and he took the stuffs from my hand and continued with his direction without a word. My goodness!! how rude... but deep inside i felt so much better coz i know God is the true and faithful God.. which also reminds me of Peter whom denied God three times before dawn when the rooster crows..

Anyway, a change of topic... yesterday's Chemistry lecturer, Dr Chia, is a great improvement from my other lecturer.. He's eccentric, humourous and spoke in a confident manner.. ^^ totally enjoyed his lesson.. am looking forward to having dinner appointment later.

Guess wot? half of cheerful n wacky hester is back.... *weeee woooo hooooo............*



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